And you thing you have it bad! Other jokes

There's a celery, a carrot, and a dick talking. The celery was like "Man, I got it bad, they chop me up and put me in cold water!" Then the carrot was like "You think you got it bad they chop me up and stick me in HOT water!" Then the dick said "Ya, well I got it the worst. They put me in a plastic bag, stick me in a dark cave, and make me do push-ups until I puke!"

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